Hollowness or implosion? Or exactly the opposite?

I guess it could be said, "It's a Monday."




I'm looking forward to our improv performance on Thursday. Last week at this time, I poured all of my attention into other exteriors, a behavioral pattern that continued throughout the week. This drew attention away from my improvisational efforts. I found myself showing people how to do something, and then when they did it, I couldn't tell them if they did it correctly or not. In turn, I also felt myself overcompensating - just ask any Driver's Ed instructor how well that fares. Overall, this rather stalwarted any personal progress as an improv instructor. I helped people, but not all of us as a whole. I think I'll save my "goods" for the rehearsal and show this week. So, if you see me any other time this week, I may be something of a wet blanket.


An enormous weight was lifted off my chest on Saturday night, as I announced the upcoming season for the Civic Theatre Guild. The shows this year will be Plaza Suite by Neil Simon, The Trial of Ebenezer Scrooge by Mark Brown, an undecided comedy directed by Erin Butler (whom I trust with ANYTHING theatrical), and Proof by Dan Auburn. Brilliant season. I'm pretty sure I spoke with everyone in town that would have been interested in directing a show. I still don't have my pet project, the "Fringe" series even started yet. But, after four months of work, that 5-minute announcement at the end-0f-season party was a catharsis unlike any I'd ever felt. I suppose the MacCallan on the rocks helped.


I have received a little private criticism on this blog, as each post has made some mention of music. But, I would take that to mean that music obviously plays a large part in my life. I've put a lot of love into my own personal soundtrack. But, recently I've noticed something curious about it. I can't tell which of us is guiding the other; whether my soundtrack is - by some extraordinary twist of fate - guiding how I view the world, or whether how I view the world is shaping my artistic interests. Life imitating art, art imitating life? I sound like Warhol.

Case in point: Today, I am listening to four songs, over and over again, which seem to be something of a blueprint of my emotional status on a grander scale. These are the tunes (and they must go in this order):

1. Teardrop by Massive Attack
   
2. The Trick is to Keep Breathing by Garbage
   
3. You Look So Fine (Fun Lovin' Criminals Remix) by Garbage
   
4. Underneath the Stars by The Cure

As mentioned, I'm not sure why I'm attracted to these four songs right now. But, I can't stop listening to them. It kind of feels like they are the first four acts of a play that has been the last two weeks of my life, with the fifth act yet to be written. I'm sure it will come to me. I hope so. A great work of art can't be left unfinished.

-retrosweater